As the years go by, my mind never has let loose of the mystery of where these freaks come from and what makes them what they are. Years of separation from the subject of my life's downfall (at least, the life I once thought I knew and aspired to), may have calmed some of the anger and depression - but that question will always remain with me.
An Upturned Soul has yet again reminded me of this article linked below. As if I was not befuddled enough by these questions - this article really digs down deep into the subject. But be advised ... I'm talkin' real deep. Check out this excerpt:
"Lowen notes that these intelligent but "in their heads" personalities often have a body structure that is a harmonious and athletic shape, with males often also having broad shoulders whilst well developed thighs on the woman. The person is usually charming, charismatic, seductive, confident and well groomed, and project success as a primary false self image to the world.These bodymind outcomes will not be explored here but it is important to note that these attractive outcomes in body shape and features act to reinforce the adult narcissist in their ability to seduce, influence, attract followers, and become extremely vain and self obsessed.Lowen also notes that the Narcissist has a bodily block in the occipital region at the rear base of the skull where the trapezius muscles connect to the base of the head. This promotes a split between head and the body and contributes to the cutting off of feelings reaching consciousness and blocks the subjective perception of bodily events.This block may be related to the Vagas vagal nervous system which develops early in the attachment bonding process between mother and infant. The work of Stephen Porges(2009) and his Polyvagal theory show that we as humans engage continually in Neuroception where we evaluate risk in our environment. One outcome of this process in infants is that where they stop feeling safe with their caregivers they enact blocks and defences in the bodymind.The hyper-vigilance noted in the narcissistic nervous system defences, and the mental attributes of not being able to trust others, which leads instead to their primary imperative to control others in order to feel safe, is controlled in part by phylogenetic organisation of the Autonomic Nervous System(ANS)(Porges:2009). There are corticospinal pathways that pass through the occipital area at the back of the head which are sensitive to muscular blocks that may possibly restrict function.This process is mediated through the occipital area of the back of the head and so trauma states in these areas appear to have relationship to the muscular contractions that result from the infant trauma in the early life attachment process(Van Der Kolk:2009).In this resulting state of hyper-vigilant trauma the person experiences thoughts and mental chatter subjectively as self-expression, and they will tend to experience their own bodies objectively but only from without, or from external environments or objects making contact with their bodies(Lowen:2004)These people often tell what should be emotional stories about events or the past in a emotionally detached way as a result. Their face may also have a broad chin/jaw muscular structure that can have a set, determined look. The jaw serves as a last line of defence in holding back a persons rage, whilst the neck blocks the deep sobbing of grief that was never allowed(Lowen:1977).As a result it is quite often the narcissistic person will show a face that is literally a mask of controlled self expression, which often relates to tight risorius, masceter, frontalis, scalene and sterno-cloido-mastoid muscles on the face and neck. The frozen body is mirrored in the rigid and emotionally frozen personality.Lewi-Martinez(2008) notes our culture also rewards these sorts of people, and we now celebrate narcissism in our sports stars, media celebrities, and leaders in various fields."
Governor Kitzhaber Steps Down: Part 1 February 13, 2015
It is all over the news - the Oregon Governor is resigning. Everybody is wringing their hands. "This is the weirdest thing we have ever seen," they are saying. This has been brewing since the beginning of the year. Local news reporters continued to uncover strange goings on with the good Guv.
Now we have this huge controversy here in Oregon, a national scandal and the consequences will be severe. And who stands at the center of all of the weirdness and scandal swirling around? Why it is the so-called, "First Lady." The Governor had been calling her his fiance - not sure what he is calling her now. I'm calling her a Narcissist. I'm not sure she is one. I am not credentialed to make such a call. But I am experienced and there is a lot unfolding in this story that sure looks familiar to me.
A prominent man's career comes tumbling down - one who has been well respected by many for a number of years. A political scandal unfolds - one with dubious, political, civil, criminal and personal ramifications. Every one is asking - what all was this fiance into? One thing everyone understands is that it was the "relationship" with this woman that brought him down. And where is she?
Oh, she is not around. The "First Lady" is not even in the country as the Guv stands before the cameras and tries to defend what is left of him - and them. The above vid is a little dramatic piece but it is short and worth watching.
I am not going to go down the list of what NPD is all about. That is easily Googled or just take a stroll through this blogsite and click on links. What really needs to happen is for the local media to grab ahold of this angle and pursue it. It is not often that this level of Narcissism plays out in front of this large of an audience. This could be a real learning opportunity for many - that is, if I am right. Let me just mention a few points.
Narcissists are not always up front about the damage they do. They most often are quite covert. But you will most certainly hear the roar when the time comes. Yes I am going to state that there is an explanation for all of this craziness playing out before us. And God only knows what that governor is enduring in his personal life right now - for that would surely tell the tale. A Narcissist leaves clues as they go about their dirty work. It is up to those closest to them to be able to decipher them. And very few of us can do that. Many of those closest to her would have to search their memories and remember the many odd things that may have been said and done.
There will be criminal investigations and ethics investigators. It is the reporters (like the ones who broke these stories) that can follow up on the Narcissist angle if they so choose. It is a matter of piecing this story together with the smaller details in order to uncover if what I claim is true. And if so, it will become clearer why the poor governor may never have had a chance. Let me tell you, once a predatory Narcissist locks onto you ... you won't see it coming. There is a lot of Narcissism floating around all through government and society. That is plenty clear to those of us who know what it is about. Others should know.
Guys - investigate her backstory. How did she meet the Governor? Delve further into her past. Interview that former boyfriend at more length. What went down with that botched pot growing operation up in Washington? What about this marriage to this ... who was it, a Nigerian? Really? That right there sounds like a heckuva story. Where does her trail lead from there? Narcissists are gypsies - they move around a lot. They don't have many close friends. Where has she been? Where are her friends - in Sweden or Germany or wherever she is now? Narcissists are like Chameleons. They re-invent their entire personalities as they move from place to place - always searching for new hunting grounds. The stealth Narcissists like to strike when the iron is hot then get the hell outta Dodge. They like to hide behind other, newer people and observe their damage from afar - as they plead complete innocence.
Alright Oregonian, Willamette Week and whoever else is out there, here is your opportunity to add a whole other dimension to this saga. Gather all your facts together. Consult with the most knowledgable mental health professional around here who knows NPD. Not any old shrink will do. You need one who truly knows these Cluster B Personality Disorders. You might be surprised at what you discover.
What was it that old boyfriend of hers said - something to the effect that ... she is not who she appears to be.
The boys at Willamette Week are doing their job. They are
digging into her back story. Keep digging fellas. If I am right, there is plenty
more to be found. The emails are good. They give me clues that strengthen my
position as to what I say she is.
Narcissists are strange in that they often contradict
themselves. They say one thing and do another. They will say or do the direct
opposite – sometimes in the very next sentence. This falls into my “Theory of
Opposites.” This is not uncommon. Narcissists are silver-tongued devils. They
can have you believing anything. They are THAT good. But it is the explaining
of how they do that, which is the hard part. Ask the Guv.
My guess is that, everything she has done throughout her
life, there has been a man involved. She has bounced from man to man to man
with other men in the middle. Did I mention that Narcissists have no moral
compass? Oh, and I should probably say that you might want to seek out women in
her past as well. Just sayin’.
They are opportunists. Many of them find their way into
politics. So goes her winding path, through, illegal marriage, failed pot
farms, shoddy real estate deals, world travels and deceiving old men, Cylvia
found her way into politics. Perhaps she decided this would be a good field to
mine. Where is she now, by the way?
The emails are quite telling. Find some more. Notice how she
constantly refers to “me” and “I” …. What about “us?” I see she does offer to include John in one
of her book deals. Inside their heads, the Narcissist lives in a magical world.
They exist in the center of their own little kingdom. Be it their family, work,
friends or maybe even the State Capitol and beyond. In their magical thinking,
they feel they are capable of great conquests and recognition. The method of
achieving this is unimportant as long as they know within their own mind – that
it all will surely come to pass.
For most rank and file Narcissists, that is about as far as
it goes. Their, “would be greatness” and all the damage that accompanies that
is usually confined to those closest to them. Most who have been damaged do not
want to share any of that stuff with the outside world for many reasons. Those
that do, often end up vilified themselves … like me. Interesting how many do
not want to be interviewed by the reporters. Oh, they have their reasons –
plenty of them. It is the ones who are not talking who have the most interesting,
titillating details of the story.
But, other times the Narcissists’ exploits end up in the
public record for all to see. Consider all of those perp walks. Then we have
those congressmen. I mean what congressman would show off his wiener for the
entire world to see and then have the gall to run for office, as if to say, “
What people – did I do something wrong?” Oh they can be quite clueless at
times. Oh and there is a reason for this. Lets just say that – inside every
Narcissist is a damaged little child. What is Cylvia’s story on this? I’m sure
someone has heard it.
Within the emails we see the writings of a very self
absorbed, entitled person. Does it not
appear as if the “first lady” might be more of a puppet master, pulling the
strings of the powerful governor? He
sure seems to be going along with every thing!
It doesn’t matter what anyone else says – she is going to just keep
pushing along. She has a plan that stretches out to 2018. By the way, I should
mention that many Narcissists do not seem to have much of a grasp of the
passage of time. They seem to think that everything will just continue on and
they do not have to be concerned about such things as aging or mortality. Isn’t
that strange?
Much of this I am saying cannot be found in the DSM IV (the
mental health bible). It takes a lot of digging by those who are motivated to
do so. Some of those emails had to have had the poor Guv squirming in his seat.
When we read these, it is quite obvious that her world is concerned with
nothing more than enriching her own self. As far as the Guv, the rest of Oregon
or anything else – none of that matters.
Narcissists can be very blunt in their speech – unusually
so. They get away with saying things the rest of us would not say in a group.
They are often able to pass themselves off as being somehow, more enlightened
than others. Cult leaders do this very well. But we can see that despite the
governor’s apparent trance, others can see trouble brewing and are attempting
damage control, but alas …
I have been informed that the mass media is reluctant to dig
into this kind of psychological stuff that is so hard for people to understand.
I understand that. And that is one of the big reasons why Narcissists are able
to get away with so much. They operate right under our radars as they circulate
all around us. Obviously I don’t write this for recognition – or revenue. I
just do this to help get the word out. The subject is important and we should
all know more about it. But keep digging boys. I am sure there is a more
exciting and intriguing story to be found. Dig back further.
Ted Bundy was one of the worst serial killer Ns. Jan. 24, 1989 was his execution in Fla. Now is his 25th. Anniversary. Here is my article from 10 yrs. ago:
This is a piece of fiction I wrote some years ago in attempt to get into the heads of these twisted, murdering freaks and try to learn how they think. A daunting proposition indeed. One needs to keep a close eye on that abyss. Here I tried to re-create his final days of freedom based on the writings of Ann Rule and others. Click below:
NOTE: It is now 2015 and I am sad to report the death of Ann Rule, personal friend of Bundy who went on to become a prolific crime writer. RIP
Friday, December 20, 2013
Murdered: Mary Jane Longo
Take a look at this pic: She Is Missing ... again. Her family will not be celebrating the holidays this year. This is an anniversary of the night her and all of her children's lives were snuffed out by a murdering N in 2001. Although this is a time to celebrate Xmas and ... Birthdays - there are some things that should never be forgotten. Watch this vid and take the time to read my story - it is a long one. http://www.katu.com/news/Words-of-a-Killer-Christian-Longo-writes-about-his-dead-family-165576656.html
Mary Jane Longo
Do Narcissists ever come to a time when they finally face up to the nasty things they do? I explored this in the story I wrote those years ago. Some regard me as some kind of a lunatic as I press on about this Dis-order. Take the time to educate yourself a little bit and then tell me if I am off the mark.
I have never released pages of his writings that I have been holding for 10 years. He sang a different tune back then. In my article I attempt to go into his head and a dark and murky place it is. It is a place you want to get away from as quick as you can! At the end of my story I say that I will write more. I have not done that. I don't know what I will do. Click the link below for the full article:
Feel free to SHARE or leave a comment. Read the rest of the blog by clicking HOME below:
OK. Ten years have gone by and due to recent events in my life I find myself back in the world of the Ns. Here is the writing of a Pschopathic killer, Christian Michael Longo, in his own hand. If you can magnify - you can read. It has become faded and my old eyes aren't what they were back then either. This has not been published before. So, for those who are curious here is one page of many.
Again Dr. Vaknin delves into the depths of what Narcissism can mean to our society. Straight from the horses mouth. Yes Sam is an N. But not unlike all other Ns - he speaks to us from his mind. And his mind works a little differently from the rest of ours. Sometimes that can be very enlightening. so, here is my question: What kind of a future does humanity have?
Some hope they will find their soulmate in this New Year - but BEWARE of ones like these, They are out there! They may fool you into thinking that you have found the mate of your dreams. In reality - they will become your nightmare and you will become another of their victims. While they are with you, they will be seareching for their next victim .... It could be your friend! I will continue to showcase the work of others who tell it better than I can. Because I find writing about these horrible creatures to be very distastefull as well as depressing.
I feel that this is the most dangerous kind of N. They learn their tactics all throughout their lives and they only get worse with age. There is NO CURE - only therapy will help. The stealthy ones speak with a forked tongue. They are hypocrites. They will fornicate with your own friends at the drop of a hat while putting you down and then blame it all on you. You can very easily find yourself losing the respect of your own friends. Others will buy into their stories because they are THAT good! So BEWARE!
I feel the neccessity to warn the world of these freaks. There are too many deep dark secrets being held out there. Too much damage being done. Too much mystery surrounding their dis-ordered world. Too much embarrassment preventing victims from speaking out. I say fuck that! Shout it out! Our silence only empowers their kind to do that much more damage in our world:
If you are single and searching or perhaps caught up in an awfull relationship that is driving you insane: Make it your New Year's resolution to become educated about Ns. There is plenty to learn here in my Blog along with the WWW and lots of great YT vids. Feel free to leave comments, tips and links.
Take a look at this pic: She Is Missing ... again. Her family will not be celebrating the holidays
this year. This is an anniversary of the night her and all of her children's
lives were snuffed out by a murdering N in 2001. Although this is a time to
celebrate Xmas and ... Birthdays - there are some things that should never be
forgotten. Watch this vid and take the time to read my story - it is a long one. http://www.katu.com/news/Words-of-a-Killer-Christian-Longo-writes-about-his-dead-family-165576656.html
Mary Jane Longo
Do Narcissists ever come to a time when they finally face up to the nasty
things they do? I explored this in the story I wrote those years ago. Some
regard me as some kind of a lunatic as I press on about this Dis-order. Take the
time to educate yourself a little bit and then tell me if I am off the
mark.
I have never released pages of his writings that I have been holding for 10
years. He sang a different tune back then. In my article I attempt to go into
his head and a dark and murky place it is. It is a place you want to get away
from as quick as you can! At the end of my story I say that I will write more. I have not done that. I don't know what I will do. Click the link below for the full article:
Feel free to SHARE or leave a comment. Read the rest of the blog by clicking HOME below:
OK. Ten years have gone by and due to recent events in my life I find myself back in the world of the Ns. Here is the writing of a Pschopathic killer, Christian Michael Longo, in his own hand. If you can magnify - you can read. It has become faded and my old eyes aren't what they were back then either. This has not been published before. So, for those who are curious here is one page of many.
Narcissists are one-state machines, programmed
to extract Narcissistic Supply from others. To do so, they develop early on a
set of immutable routines. This propensity for repetition, inability to change
and rigidity confine the narcissist, stunt his development, and limit his
horizons. Add to this his overpowering sense of entitlement, his visceral fear
of failure, and his invariable need to both feel unique and be perceived as such
– and one often ends up with a recipe for inaction.
N is for Murder: Articles From The Past on Murdering Narcissists
It is time to ressurect my articles at Lit.org from ten years ago. At the time, I was writing about murders in the news. What was written then is every bit as relevent then as it is now. The main difference is that there are more Ns in the world now and more people are aware of what NPD is all about. In some of these I attempted to go into the heads of the murdering Ns and try to think like they think but that is a dark place to go. If you can spare the time, give a few of them a read and come back for more. You can sign onto my email list here on this page:
My main reason for publishing these articles is the same now as it was then: to alert the world of the danger of Ns. Some are saying the President of the United States is one! See other posts in my Blog for more on that.
Most of my friends think I have completely lost my mind. But I know there are many thousands of you out there that think otherwise. Sadly, it seems that you have to have direct contact with these creatures before you can even have an inkling of an idea as to what they are all about.
NPD Column: Saddam & Son's Regime by TheSearcher (Member) -
published: August 16, 2003
Word Count: 700 Word Bytes: 4209 Viewed: 1674
times http://www.lit.org/view/5851
Ted Bundy was one of the worst serial killer Ns. Jan. 24, 1989 was his execution in Fla. Now is his 25th. Anniversary. Here is my article from 10 yrs. ago:
This is a piece of fiction I wrote some years ago in attempt to get into the heads of these twisted, murdering freaks and try to learn how they think. A daunting proposition indeed. One needs to keep a close eye on that abyss. Here I tried to re-create his final days of freedom based on the writings of Ann Rule and others. Click below:
Take a look at this pic: She Is Missing ... again. Her family will not be celebrating the holidays this year. This is an anniversary of the night her and all of her children's lives were snuffed out by a murdering N in 2001. Although this is a time to celebrate Xmas and ... Birthdays - there are some things that should never be forgotten. Watch this vid and take the time to read my story - it is a long one. http://www.katu.com/news/Words-of-a-Killer-Christian-Longo-writes-about-his-dead-family-165576656.html
Mary Jane Longo
Do Narcissists ever come to a time when they finally face up to the nasty things they do? I explored this in the story I wrote those years ago. Some regard me as some kind of a lunatic as I press on about this Dis-order. Take the time to educate yourself a little bit and then tell me if I am off the mark.
I have never released pages of his writings that I have been holding for 10 years. He sang a different tune back then. In my article I attempt to go into his head and a dark and murky place it is. It is a place you want to get away from as quick as you can! At the end of my story I say that I will write more. I have not done that. I don't know what I will do. Click the link below for the full article:
Feel free to SHARE or leave a comment. Read the rest of the blog by clicking HOME below:
OK. Ten years have gone by and due to recent events in my life I find myself back in the world of the Ns. Here is the writing of a Pschopathic killer, Christian Michael Longo, in his own hand. If you can magnify - you can read. It has become faded and my old eyes aren't what they were back then either. This has not been published before. So, for those who are curious here is one page of many.
A little about Dr. Sam Vaknin and a little about Dr. Phil
I just had to repost this vid from Dr. Sam Vaknin. In it he uses a word that I have used to define the enigma that surrounds the multiple personalities of the Narcissist: "Shapeshifter." This HAS to be THE most difficult aspect of the Narcissist, for people with normal minds to understand. Their uncanny ability to COMPLETELY reshape their persona and leave the other one behind as if it is nothing but a shell - is mind bending for those who are close to them.
Normal people accept that someone can be either evil or nice but it is difficult for them to grasp that there are those out there who can take the qualities from one end of the spectrum to the other - instantly! We see the Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde personalities played out in the movies but we refuse to accept that it is real even when it is right in front of our face. Why, for one reason - it is scary!
How does Sam know so much about this? He is N. I have been familiar with him for over 10 years. And believe me - he is a Narcissist - one of the few in the world (if not the only) who can speak out with this kind of insight. Why does he do it? Because it feeds him. Read his stuff, he explains why.
There was a recent episode on Dr. Phil. A wife of over 30 yrs. was going out of her mind. Her husband had completely altered his personality after his Dad died. He became evil. And proceeded to do and say things that destroyed everything they ever had. He called it a midlife crisis and claimed he absolutely could not understand why he did all the awful things that he did. She was at her wits end. This behavior was right out of the N's playbook: A Narcissistic injury resulting from the loss of a significant other. I'm not going to explain what that is here. Sam explains that very well in his book.
But I will mention a thought of my own here. In some people there seems to be some kind of a latent Narcissism that lurks deep inside of them (or maybe just under the surface) for most of their lives only to suddenly erupt out of them in force at the passing of a significant other or some designated event occurs. And this is another area that is far too complicated to explain here. And believe me when I say - this reaction has little to do with grief - it is some other power which is yet to be adequately explained by anyone!
Dr. Phil HAS to know of this. And that angle SHOULD have been explored! I am not going to delve into all the particulars of this episode here. I'm sure I won't be the only one speaking out about this. But the bottom line is that Dr. Phil ends up sending the poor wife off to a ninety day program. And doesn't do damned thing for the dude who caused the WHOLE debacle in the first place. He just leaves dude free to cavort around with his new lover while the wifey is off in a program. WTF!
Oh but she is forbidden to have ANY contact with her new lover. NOTE: Upon further review, I will hold my opinion on the results of this episode at this time. On DrPhil.com they are saying that the husband, Danny will also be participating in this program. I guess this is another case of you had to be there.
NOTE: I would like to add this quote from Sam to help clarify what he means when he talks of "PNS:"The processes of obtaining, preserving,
accumulating and recalling Narcissistic Supply take place in the Pathological
Narcissistic Space (PNS). This is an imaginary environment, a comfort zone,
invented by the narcissist. It has clear geographical and physical boundaries: a
home, a workplace, a neighbourhood, a city, a country.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Narcissists and our Future
Narcissists and our Future
Again Dr. Vaknin delves into the depths of what Narcissism can mean to our society. Straight from the horses mouth. Yes Sam is an N. But not unlike all other Ns - he speaks to us from his mind. And his mind works a little differently from the rest of ours. Sometimes that can be very enlightening. so, here is my question: What kind of a future does humanity have?
Narcissists are one-state machines, programmed to extract Narcissistic Supply from others. To do so, they develop early on a set of immutable routines. This propensity for repetition, inability to change and rigidity confine the narcissist, stunt his development, and limit his horizons. Add to this his overpowering sense of entitlement, his visceral fear of failure, and his invariable need to both feel unique and be perceived as such – and one often ends up with a recipe for inaction.
I am posting another one of Sam Vaknin's links here because he says it so well. Most regular people cannot understand the stuff he writes but I get it pretty good. Of course his info is coming straight from the horse's mouth shall we say. After all he is most certainly the first authority on the subject of Ns. Given there are all kinds of Ns in the World. But pretty much ALL of them share a certain subset of personality characteristics. That is of course, the reason for the label of NPD.
Here Sam speaks of the place I call the "N-World" that special little place where all "N-Victims" are dragged, kicking and screaming, into.
