A little about Dr. Sam Vaknin and a little about Dr. Phil
I just had to repost this vid from Dr. Sam Vaknin. In it he uses a word that I have used to define the enigma that surrounds the multiple personalities of the Narcissist: "Shapeshifter." This HAS to be THE most difficult aspect of the Narcissist, for people with normal minds to understand. Their uncanny ability to COMPLETELY reshape their persona and leave the other one behind as if it is nothing but a shell - is mind bending for those who are close to them.
Normal people accept that someone can be either evil or nice but it is difficult for them to grasp that there are those out there who can take the qualities from one end of the spectrum to the other - instantly! We see the Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde personalities played out in the movies but we refuse to accept that it is real even when it is right in front of our face. Why, for one reason - it is scary!
How does Sam know so much about this? He is N. I have been familiar with him for over 10 years. And believe me - he is a Narcissist - one of the few in the world (if not the only) who can speak out with this kind of insight. Why does he do it? Because it feeds him. Read his stuff, he explains why.
There was a recent episode on Dr. Phil. A wife of over 30 yrs. was going out of her mind. Her husband had completely altered his personality after his Dad died. He became evil. And proceeded to do and say things that destroyed everything they ever had. He called it a midlife crisis and claimed he absolutely could not understand why he did all the awful things that he did. She was at her wits end. This behavior was right out of the N's playbook: A Narcissistic injury resulting from the loss of a significant other. I'm not going to explain what that is here. Sam explains that very well in his book.
But I will mention a thought of my own here. In some people there seems to be some kind of a latent Narcissism that lurks deep inside of them (or maybe just under the surface) for most of their lives only to suddenly erupt out of them in force at the passing of a significant other or some designated event occurs. And this is another area that is far too complicated to explain here. And believe me when I say - this reaction has little to do with grief - it is some other power which is yet to be adequately explained by anyone!
Dr. Phil HAS to know of this. And that angle SHOULD have been explored! I am not going to delve into all the particulars of this episode here. I'm sure I won't be the only one speaking out about this. But the bottom line is that Dr. Phil ends up sending the poor wife off to a ninety day program. And doesn't do damned thing for the dude who caused the WHOLE debacle in the first place. He just leaves dude free to cavort around with his new lover while the wifey is off in a program. WTF!
Oh but she is forbidden to have ANY contact with her new lover. NOTE: Upon further review, I will hold my opinion on the results of this episode at this time. On DrPhil.com they are saying that the husband, Danny will also be participating in this program. I guess this is another case of you had to be there.
Here is the link to Dr. Phil http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/2117
NOTE: I would like to add this quote from Sam to help clarify what he means when he talks of "PNS:" The processes of obtaining, preserving, accumulating and recalling Narcissistic Supply take place in the Pathological Narcissistic Space (PNS). This is an imaginary environment, a comfort zone, invented by the narcissist. It has clear geographical and physical boundaries: a home, a workplace, a neighbourhood, a city, a country.