Thursday, September 17, 2015

What Makes A #Narcissist? #N-Searcher

My Mind Never Quiets

As the years go by, my mind never has let loose of the mystery of where these freaks come from and what makes them what they are. Years of separation from the subject of my life's downfall (at least, the life I once thought I knew and aspired to), may have calmed some of the anger and depression - but that question will always remain with me.

An Upturned Soul has yet again reminded me of this article linked below. As if I was not befuddled enough by these questions - this article really digs down deep into the subject. But be advised ... I'm talkin' real deep. Check out this excerpt:

"Lowen notes that these intelligent but "in their heads" personalities often have a body structure that is a harmonious and athletic shape, with males often also having broad shoulders whilst well developed thighs on the woman. The person is usually charming, charismatic, seductive, confident and well groomed, and project success as a primary false self image to the world.These bodymind outcomes will not be explored here but it is important to note that these attractive outcomes in body shape and features act to reinforce the adult narcissist in their ability to seduce, influence, attract followers, and become extremely vain and self obsessed.Lowen also notes that the Narcissist has a bodily block in the occipital region at the rear base of the skull where the trapezius muscles connect to the base of the head. This promotes a split between head and the body and contributes to the cutting off of feelings reaching consciousness and blocks the subjective perception of bodily events.This block may be related to the Vagas vagal nervous system which develops early in the attachment bonding process between mother and infant. The work of Stephen Porges(2009) and his Polyvagal theory show that we as humans engage continually in Neuroception where we evaluate risk in our environment. One outcome of this process in infants is that where they stop feeling safe with their caregivers they enact blocks and defences in the bodymind.The hyper-vigilance noted in the narcissistic nervous system defences, and the mental attributes of not being able to trust others, which leads instead to their primary imperative to control others in order to feel safe, is controlled in part by phylogenetic organisation of the Autonomic Nervous System(ANS)(Porges:2009). There are corticospinal pathways that pass through the occipital area at the back of the head which are sensitive to muscular blocks that may possibly restrict function.This process is mediated through the occipital area of the back of the head and so trauma states in these areas appear to have relationship to the muscular contractions that result from the infant trauma in the early life attachment process(Van Der Kolk:2009).In this resulting state of hyper-vigilant trauma the person experiences thoughts and mental chatter subjectively as self-expression, and they will tend to experience their own bodies objectively but only from without, or from external environments or objects making contact with their bodies(Lowen:2004)These people often tell what should be emotional stories about events or the past in a emotionally detached way as a result. Their face may also have a broad chin/jaw muscular structure that can have a set, determined look. The jaw serves as a last line of defence in holding back a persons rage, whilst the neck blocks the deep sobbing of grief that was never allowed(Lowen:1977).As a result it is quite often the narcissistic person will show a face that is literally a mask of controlled self expression, which often relates to tight risorius, masceter, frontalis, scalene and sterno-cloido-mastoid muscles on the face and neck. The frozen body is mirrored in the rigid and emotionally frozen personality.Lewi-Martinez(2008) notes our culture also rewards these sorts of people, and we now celebrate narcissism in our sports stars, media celebrities, and leaders in various fields."

Check the article out here:

Friday, May 8, 2015

Christian Longo Murders Re-visited

True Story, the movie of the Longo murders was recently released to my complete and utter  surprise. This has led me to dig this old story back up. I devoted a significant chunk of my life investigating this malignant, psychopathic Narcissist. I am telling the whole, complete story on Hub Pages. I hope that my account will serve as a reference for many years to come for the increasing hoards of minions who will be searching for the meaning of Narcissism in the future. 

Hub Pages: The Christian Longo Murders

Chapter 1:
Chapter 2:
Chapter 3:  r
Chapter 4:
Chapter 5:
Chapter 6:
Chapter 7:
Chapter 8:
Chapter 9:

Saturday, October 18, 2014

I Am Narcissist - Hear Me Roar

I Am Narcissist - Hear Me Roar 

Governor Kitzhaber Steps Down:  Part 1        February 13, 2015

It is all over the news - the Oregon Governor is resigning. Everybody is wringing their hands. "This is the weirdest thing we have ever seen," they are saying. This has been brewing since the beginning of the year. Local news reporters continued to uncover strange goings on with the good Guv.

Now we have this huge controversy here in Oregon, a national scandal and the consequences will be severe. And who stands at the center of all of the weirdness and scandal swirling around? Why it is the so-called, "First Lady." The Governor had been calling her his fiance - not sure what he is calling her now. I'm calling her a Narcissist. I'm not sure she is one. I am not credentialed to make such a call. But I am experienced and there is a lot unfolding in this story that sure looks familiar to me.

A prominent man's career comes tumbling down - one who has been well respected by many for a number of years. A political scandal unfolds - one with dubious, political, civil, criminal and personal ramifications. Every one is asking - what all was this fiance into? One thing everyone understands is that it was the "relationship" with this woman that brought him down. And where is she? 

Oh, she is not around. The "First Lady" is not even in the country as the Guv stands before the cameras and tries to defend what is left of him - and them. The above vid is a little dramatic piece but it is short and worth watching.

I am not going to go down the list of what NPD is all about. That is easily Googled or just take a stroll through this blogsite and click on links. What really needs to happen is for the local media to grab ahold of this angle and pursue it. It is not often that this level of Narcissism plays out in front of this large of an audience. This could be a real learning opportunity for many - that is, if I am right. Let me just mention a few points.

Narcissists are not always up front about the damage they do. They most often are quite covert. But you will most certainly hear the roar when the time comes. Yes I am going to state that there is an explanation for all of this craziness playing out before us. And God only knows what that governor is enduring in his personal life right now - for that would surely tell the tale. A Narcissist leaves clues as they go about their dirty work. It is up to those closest to them to be able to decipher them. And very few of us can do that. Many of those closest to her would have to search their memories and remember the many odd things that may have been said and done.

There will be criminal investigations and ethics investigators. It is the reporters (like the ones who broke these stories) that can follow up on the Narcissist angle if they so choose. It is a matter of piecing this story together with the smaller details in order to uncover if what I claim is true. And if so, it will become clearer why the poor governor may never have had a chance. Let me tell you, once a predatory Narcissist locks onto you ... you won't see it coming. There is a lot of Narcissism floating around all through government and society. That is plenty clear to those of us who know what it is about. Others should know.

Guys - investigate her backstory. How did she meet the Governor? Delve further into her past. Interview that former boyfriend at more length. What went down with that botched pot growing operation up in Washington? What about this marriage to this ... who was it, a Nigerian? Really? That right there sounds like a heckuva story. Where does her trail lead from there? Narcissists are gypsies - they move around a lot. They don't have many close friends. Where has she been? Where are her friends - in Sweden or Germany or wherever she is now? Narcissists are like Chameleons. They re-invent their entire personalities as they move from place to place - always searching for new hunting grounds. The stealth Narcissists like to strike when the iron is hot then get the hell outta Dodge. They like to hide behind other, newer people and observe their damage from afar - as they plead complete innocence.

Alright Oregonian, Willamette Week and whoever else is out there, here is your opportunity to add a whole other dimension to this saga. Gather all your facts together. Consult with the most knowledgable mental health professional around here who knows NPD. Not any old shrink will do. You need one who truly knows these Cluster B Personality Disorders. You might be surprised at what you discover.

What was it that old boyfriend of hers said - something to the effect that ... she is not who she appears to be.

Now this

Cylvia Hayes   Part 2                       February 18, 2015

I get a kick out of all the comments wondering why the Guv didn’t download his “fiancĂ©” right out of his life. I am making my case that the Guv was more than likely under the spell of a Narcissist. This is no black magic. They are out there – many of them – many have worked their way into higher places and the damage they are doing is incalculable.

The boys at Willamette Week are doing their job. They are digging into her back story. Keep digging fellas. If I am right, there is plenty more to be found. The emails are good. They give me clues that strengthen my position as to what I say she is.

Narcissists are strange in that they often contradict themselves. They say one thing and do another. They will say or do the direct opposite – sometimes in the very next sentence. This falls into my “Theory of Opposites.” This is not uncommon. Narcissists are silver-tongued devils. They can have you believing anything. They are THAT good. But it is the explaining of how they do that, which is the hard part. Ask the Guv.

My guess is that, everything she has done throughout her life, there has been a man involved. She has bounced from man to man to man with other men in the middle. Did I mention that Narcissists have no moral compass? Oh, and I should probably say that you might want to seek out women in her past as well. Just sayin’.

They are opportunists. Many of them find their way into politics. So goes her winding path, through, illegal marriage, failed pot farms, shoddy real estate deals, world travels and deceiving old men, Cylvia found her way into politics. Perhaps she decided this would be a good field to mine. Where is she now, by the way?

The emails are quite telling. Find some more. Notice how she constantly refers to “me” and “I” …. What about “us?”  I see she does offer to include John in one of her book deals. Inside their heads, the Narcissist lives in a magical world. They exist in the center of their own little kingdom. Be it their family, work, friends or maybe even the State Capitol and beyond. In their magical thinking, they feel they are capable of great conquests and recognition. The method of achieving this is unimportant as long as they know within their own mind – that it all will surely come to pass.

For most rank and file Narcissists, that is about as far as it goes. Their, “would be greatness” and all the damage that accompanies that is usually confined to those closest to them. Most who have been damaged do not want to share any of that stuff with the outside world for many reasons. Those that do, often end up vilified themselves … like me. Interesting how many do not want to be interviewed by the reporters. Oh, they have their reasons – plenty of them. It is the ones who are not talking who have the most interesting, titillating details of the story.

But, other times the Narcissists’ exploits end up in the public record for all to see. Consider all of those perp walks. Then we have those congressmen. I mean what congressman would show off his wiener for the entire world to see and then have the gall to run for office, as if to say, “ What people – did I do something wrong?” Oh they can be quite clueless at times. Oh and there is a reason for this. Lets just say that – inside every Narcissist is a damaged little child. What is Cylvia’s story on this? I’m sure someone has heard it.

Within the emails we see the writings of a very self absorbed, entitled person.  Does it not appear as if the “first lady” might be more of a puppet master, pulling the strings of the powerful governor?  He sure seems to be going along with every thing!  It doesn’t matter what anyone else says – she is going to just keep pushing along. She has a plan that stretches out to 2018. By the way, I should mention that many Narcissists do not seem to have much of a grasp of the passage of time. They seem to think that everything will just continue on and they do not have to be concerned about such things as aging or mortality. Isn’t that strange?

Much of this I am saying cannot be found in the DSM IV (the mental health bible). It takes a lot of digging by those who are motivated to do so. Some of those emails had to have had the poor Guv squirming in his seat. When we read these, it is quite obvious that her world is concerned with nothing more than enriching her own self. As far as the Guv, the rest of Oregon or anything else – none of that matters.

Narcissists can be very blunt in their speech – unusually so. They get away with saying things the rest of us would not say in a group. They are often able to pass themselves off as being somehow, more enlightened than others. Cult leaders do this very well. But we can see that despite the governor’s apparent trance, others can see trouble brewing and are attempting damage control, but alas …

I have been informed that the mass media is reluctant to dig into this kind of psychological stuff that is so hard for people to understand. I understand that. And that is one of the big reasons why Narcissists are able to get away with so much. They operate right under our radars as they circulate all around us. Obviously I don’t write this for recognition – or revenue. I just do this to help get the word out. The subject is important and we should all know more about it. But keep digging boys. I am sure there is a more exciting and intriguing story to be found. Dig back further.

                                          For More N stuff click HERE

Check the archives to the right for many more pages >

Friday, January 24, 2014

Welcome to Killer N: Ted Bundy

Ted Bundy was one of the worst serial killer Ns. Jan. 24, 1989 was his execution in Fla. Now is his 25th. Anniversary. Here is my article from 10 yrs. ago:
This is a piece of fiction I wrote some years ago in attempt to get into the heads of these twisted, murdering freaks and try to learn how they think. A daunting proposition indeed. One needs to keep a close eye on that abyss. Here I tried to re-create his final days of freedom based on the writings of Ann Rule and others. Click below:

NOTE: It is now 2015 and I am sad to report the death of Ann Rule, personal friend of Bundy who went on to become  a prolific crime writer.  RIP

Friday, December 20, 2013

Murdered: Mary Jane Longo

Take a look at this pic: She Is Missing ... again. Her family will not be celebrating the holidays this year. This is an anniversary of the night her and all of her children's lives were snuffed out by a murdering N in 2001. Although this is a time to celebrate Xmas and ... Birthdays - there are some things that should never be forgotten. Watch this vid and take the time to read my story - it is a long one.

Mary Jane Longo

Do Narcissists ever come to a time when they finally face up to the nasty things they do? I explored this in the story I wrote those years ago. Some regard me as some kind of a lunatic as I press on about this Dis-order. Take the time to educate yourself a little bit and then tell me if I am off the mark.
I have never released pages of his writings that I have been holding for 10 years. He sang a different tune back then. In my article I attempt to go into his head and a dark and murky place it is. It is a place you want to get away from as quick as you can! At the end of my story I say that I will write more. I have not done that. I don't know what I will do. Click the link below for the full article:

Feel free to SHARE or leave a comment. Read the rest of the blog by clicking HOME below:

OK. Ten years have gone by and due to recent events in my life I find myself back in the world of the Ns. Here is the writing of a Pschopathic killer, Christian Michael Longo, in his own hand. If you can magnify - you can read. It has become faded and my old eyes aren't what they were back then either. This has not been published before. So, for those who are curious here is one page of many.

Monday, December 30, 2013

Narcissists and our Future

Narcissists and our Future

Again Dr. Vaknin delves into the depths of what Narcissism can mean to our society. Straight from the horses mouth. Yes Sam is an N. But not unlike all other Ns - he speaks to us from his mind. And his mind works a little differently from the rest of ours. Sometimes that can be very enlightening. so, here is my question: What kind of a future does humanity have?

To see more earlier articles in this Blog, click "2013" under the Archives over on the right.